Nathan Scott

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Jun. 30th, 2008 @ 02:08 am FM - June - Is it really possible to forgive and forget?

When Dan got out of jail and he started trying to be part of my life again, part of me wanted to forgive him. He was my dad, ya know? He’d never been what you’d call a good dad. He’d rode me hard when I was a kid, always pushing me to be the best, to give it my all. Even when I didn’t want to play anymore, he made me. He would tell me if I wanted to be the best I had to practice. And I would. I’d practice until I could barely move anymore. When I got older, I lifted weights, ‘cause my dad told me I was too small. No matter what I did, I was never good enough for Dan Scott. I never could live up to his expectations.

Then I got older and I realized that I didn’t have to take his crap anymore. I didn’t want to take it. I didn’t want to deal with him and my mom and their stupid divorce games. They were being more immature than me and I was just a teenager. So, I got emancipated. If I was on my own, I didn’t have to deal with him or my mom anymore. But Dan decided to punish me for that. He cut me off. No money or anything. When me and Hales got married, he tried to screw that up for me too. But we still made it.

And then Dan did the one thing I don’t think anyone can forgive him for. He killed Keith. His own brother. In cold blood and let someone else take the blame for it. It didn’t matter that he came forward later. He only did that because Abby saw it happen and she told Lucas. I really believe that Dan could’ve and would’ve taken that secret to the grave.

Which brings me to now. My dad’s dying. He’s got a bad heart. My brother, Lucas, he’s got the same heart condition too. But Dan? He’s really dying. He told me he had six months left. When he first told me, I wanted to forgive him, I wanted to let him back in. I even wanted to let him be a part of Jamie’s life. Shouldn’t my son know his grandfather?

But then I thought about it and talked it over with Haley and I came to a decision. I didn’t give a damn if Dan was dying. He deserved to die. for what he did. He killed Keith. Just because he was sick didn't get him off the hook. It didn't make everything all better. I didn’t want him back in my life and I sure as hell didn’t want him in my son’s life. I would never, ever forgive him. And no way in hell was I ever gonna forget what he did.

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May. 3rd, 2008 @ 01:56 am FM - Application - Competition

Nathan Scott is no stranger to competition. His dad, Dan Scott, was a big high school and even college basketball star. Until he got injured in college and couldn’t play anymore, that is. From the time Nathan could hold a basketball in his tiny hands, his dad taught him the game. Taught him to be the best at what he did. Practice, plays, training. It all consumed his young life until it was all he knew. All he had. Even if he would’ve wanted to give it up, there was no way he could. Dan was, in a sense, trying to relive his youth, his own failures through his son.

He put so much pressure on Nathan that it turned him very bitter, it forced him to be more competitive, push himself harder just so he wouldn’t fail. He couldn’t let himself or his father down. He wanted and needed to be the best. His goal was to show his dad that he was even better than him. He would stop at nothing to achieve this goal. No matter the consequence.

In high school, Nathan was determined to beat Dan’s score. He wanted this so bad that he turned to drugs to help him. To improve his game. It didn’t help him though, instead, it hurt him. He ended up in the hospital.

In his quest to punish his father, he lost sight of everything he loved about the game. The fun, the sport, the healthy competition. He’d turned his own love for the game into a competition to beat his father. To be better than Dan ever had. What he didn’t realize is he already was. Nathan was a better man and basketball player than his dad ever had been or ever would be.

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May. 3rd, 2008 @ 01:42 am FM Application - Introduction

I’m Nathan Scott. I’m 22 years old and I live in Tree Hill, North Carolina. Right now, I’m not doing much of anything except helping out my half-brother Lucas coach the local high school basketball team. That’s not exactly what I figured I’d be doing at this point in my life. I should’ve been in Seattle, playing for the Sonics. Would’ve been too if I wouldn’t have screwed it all up. Some guy decided to run his mouth, giving me shit and I let him get to me which ended up with me getting thrown out a window and I spent the next 4 months in a wheelchair. Yeah, pretty messed up huh?

Well, that’s not even the beginning of it. My whole life’s pretty much been one screw up after another. I did one good thing in my life and that was my son Jamie. Me and his mom Haley, we got married in high school. Six years, man. Hard to believe. Things have been kinda rough lately and for awhile I wondered if we were gonna make it. I really screwed some stuff up. But I really think we're gonna be okay. We both wanna try and that's what's important.

I miss basketball. For a long time, it was my whole life. Everything I’d ever dreamed of. Something I’d sacrifice pretty much anything for, and trust me, I did. Including borrowing money from some loan shark, shaving points and getting busted, and almost getting Haley killed. I sound like a real great guy don’t I? I’m really not that bad, I’ve just made some real bad choices in my life. But I’m trying. That’s all I can do.

It’s hard, seeing everyone you hung out with in High School get everything they ever dreamed of while you lose your own dream. But, I’m happy for them. Lucas, that’s my brother, he published a book, Brooke, she’s got her clothing line, Peyton finally got her record label and even Haley, she’s making a CD with Peyton right now. But you know what? I’m happy for them. They all deserve it.

I guess I really didn’t lose my dreams, they just turned into something else. My only focus now is to be the best dad I can be, ‘cause I never want to turn out to be like my dad. I don’t ever want Jamie to look at me like I look at Dan.

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